Skördar igenom gamla anteckningar och hittar varifrån jag lånat ett livsreflekterande citat, John Dollar av Marianne Wiggins:
... she hungered for a different sort of story, one to reinvent the world she knew.
Jag föredrar respell framför reinvent...
Jag börjar läsa om romanen och ser hur texttrådarna knyts samman.
Det skrivna och det levda.
Tänker på berättelsen vi rituellt dansade i Guzelcamli Turkiet 2010. Att vi dansade på exakt den plats där man nu tror att Homeros eller Homerosarnas verk, Iliaden och Odyssén "uruppfördes".
Tjugo år efter mitt sista inlyssnande av platsen. Platsen för min mytiska initiering, för början till mitt infödande i pulserande liv och uvildande ur cementerat liv.
Tjugo år efteråt dansar vi en rituell dansgestaltningen av Livsresan, rotfäst i den grekiska myten om Penelope och Odysseus, men berättad ur Penelopes perspektiv, så som Brita Haugen röstar den i sin bok: Penelopes Stemme.
Ithaka var Penelopes och Odysseus hemö. Turkiets amasonindränkta västkust är var jag har min hemortsrätt.
Tjugo år tog resan.
Den skrivna och den levda.
Återläser Wiggins utmejslingar:
As you set out for Ithaka
hope your road's a long one,
full of an adventure, a discovery.
Arriving there is what you're destined for.
Don't hurry,
better if your journey lasts for years
so you're old by the time you reach the island
Ithaka gave this journey to you
Without her you'd have never dreamed her
If you find her poor, she won't have fooled you:
Wise as you'll become,
so full of ports,
You'll have understood what "Ithakas" are for.
Hela texten av Constantine Cavafys dikt:
As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon- don't be afraid of them:
you'll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon- you won't encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.
Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind-
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.
Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.
Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.
And if you find her poor, Ithaka won't have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.
Och resan tillbaka förstår jag först nu i efterhand - eller rättare sagt jag förstår ingenting, jag bara vet. Vet att den berättelse jag hungrade efter - den och jag, vi har hittat varandra. Och att jag sakta börjat orda fram vårt ömsesidiga hemhittande.
Och var annars ska de nya orden, den nya berättelsen stygnas fram? - Om inte där den västerländska litteraturens mytologiska vagga stod.
Just här:
och resan fortsätter...